I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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