At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
