i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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