Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize