So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
