She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
