U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
