i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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