Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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