Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
