Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
