I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
