Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
