every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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