called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
