"it" just moved
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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