Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The Olympian is in my bed
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
