remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
