He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize