The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
