I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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