btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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