What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
