I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
All the doctor said was why
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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