If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
