I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
