He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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