My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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