Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
