so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
