you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
