you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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