Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
