can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
