You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
