my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
