Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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