He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize