there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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