I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
