the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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