we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
