Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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