he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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