But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
