So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize