how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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