no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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