he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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