they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
