you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
