I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
