Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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