I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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