the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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