you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When are your genitals available?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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