Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
