I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
