so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
