Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
