remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
