3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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