You work out of a Hotel?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
